Please take care while reading: This blog shares my unfiltered thoughts, including reflections on difficult personal experiences. If sensitive topics such as mental health, addiction, trauma or loss may be distressing, please take care or consider not continuing.
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when all's been lost but you've been found
Life has taken me for a ride, and dropped me off in an unfamiliar place. But I do not think it has been unkind, nor has it forgotten where I was from; it is merely leading me towards where I’m meant to be. I suppose the whole point of getting into the car is to actually leave. I doubt I’d be able to return even if I wanted to, having seen and changed too much along the way. How can you go back to a life you once had, when that version of you does not exist anymore?
So now, I start again. This time, without fear. This time, awake.
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death and all his friends
I've been told that choosing to die before your appointed time lands you in the pits of hell without trial, or leaves you on the ghostly plane, destined to roam the earth forever.
I think about this often, and whenever I find the courage to take a leap and fly, it holds me in place. I suppose the risk outweighs the reward. How tragic it would be to have to live forever, when the greatest gift from life is that it is only temporary.
The aching regrets, the windows to a past wishing to be unlost, the deep yearning for you that's pulling my heart apart; it is only temporary.
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A fresh start
In Too Far, Acceptance
Well, I think I'm going to call this place home now.
A home to pen my thoughts onto paper (or in this case, pixels) without the anxiety of prying eyes or perfect grammar. The body of unscrubbed thoughts that swim round and round in my head will now have their much needed exit.
God knows I've missed jotting them down, and deeply regret deleting my many past journals. So hello, new journal, I promise to keep you alive this time; and as my memory tires, you can do the same for me.