we can still love as friends
I took a walk last evening, learning to depend on my own company again, trying to move past uneasy feelings. I had never wanted to get married when I was young. Looking at my parents, it seemed better to walk through life alone. But the greed for love had won the battle. Now years later, I’ve lost the war.
A long time ago, I had a friend who met an astrologer, and asked if I wanted a reading. I agreed in good fun. He warned me I shouldn’t marry, that the person I was with would make me unhappy and lonely in the later years. I laughed it off, because I was convinced he was my person, god-sent after all the trials and lessons. My mind couldn’t fathom betrayal, not by him. The one who’s been by my side for years, the one I’d gone to hell and back with. But first came the temper, then the office crush… that broke my heart. It makes me sad knowing I can never trust him again, not completely. Emotionally checked out, is this what life will be like now? Forcing myself to forget, forgive and continue on in silence?