we can still love as friends
I took a walk last evening, learning to depend on my own company again, trying to move past uneasy feelings. I had never wanted to get married when I was young. Looking at my parents, it seemed better to walk through life alone. But the greed for love had won the battle. Now years later, I’ve lost the war.
A long time ago, I had a friend who met an astrologer, and asked if I wanted a reading. I agreed in good fun. He told me I shouldn’t marry, that the person I was with would make me unhappy and lonely in the later years. I laughed it off, because I'd been with him for so long, and thought I’d finally found my person. My mind couldn’t fathom betrayal, not by him. The one who’s been by side for years, the one I’d gone to hell and back with. But first came the temper and blows; then the office crush… that broke my heart. What makes me sad is knowing that I can never trust him again, not completely. Emotionally checked out, is this what life will be like now?
I wonder if this is why you’re suddenly in my dreams all the time. It would be devastatingly delightful to know, if all that’s been happening in my head has been happening inside of yours too. Two people yearning closeness in fantasies but hiding away in reality. The truth is, I’ve succumbed to the crazy, and I’d really like you to find me.